I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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