The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
