i jhust puked up my retainher.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Someone signed my nipple.
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