I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
