After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
