Can Purell be used as lube?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
