Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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