see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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