i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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