I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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