i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
