Where is the hickey?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
