I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
