There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
