I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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