I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
