Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
