Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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