thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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