is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize