I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
