Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
50% drunk capacity currently
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
