jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
