i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
