im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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