My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
