yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
