I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
