I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
