So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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