If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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