you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
