Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
