I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
