im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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