big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
