how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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