i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
