We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize