They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
