omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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