you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
