i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
