some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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