just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
