WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
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