i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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