A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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