your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
