the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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