I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
