Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is Oprah even human
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
