i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
