What did we do last night that was yellow?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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