Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Randomize
