We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
