Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize