Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
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his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
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There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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