I'm really into asian looking animals
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i may or may not be watching the land before time
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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