new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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