You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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